Dear Reader,
My grandmother died on December 6 ( her birthday) . My father had heart surgery a day or two after. My uncle had to go to ER. My other uncle had a stroke shortly before my grandmother’s death. My family gathered to mourn my grandmother’s loss. Some stayed for the holidays, as well. All of this concluded with me in respiratory distress in an ambulance to the ER on Christmas afternoon.
I’m going to level with you. I have a 113,000 in student loan debt ( so far). I have psychiatric illness and physical illness. I have a part-time job. I have hopes for attending law school. I have tear-filled prayers for a hope and a future. But God is still Good. God is still God and I am not him. I’ve been told that I’m a waste of life. I’ve been told that I will never be able to support myself. But these people who spout off at their mouth. They don’t know the God I serve. The God I am intimately acquainted with.
I know it is weird. When someone asked me why I thought I could even go to law school yesterday, I almost said CUZ GOD TOLD ME but I restrained myself. However, I truly believe this to be in the will of God. I also believe that whatever God says has to come to pass. I’m not really the type to say I heard something from God. That’s not me. That is really not something I say or even want to be known for saying. Trust me. Enough people think I’m crazy.
I’ve also been really obsessed with this verse in the bible: Romans 8:18. As much as I’m discouraged. As much as I’d rather stay in bed and tear off clothes and lament. Romans 8:18 declares: For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
If you are going to speak a word over someone today, let it be a word of encouragement. You have no idea what God whispered to them. They may look crazy like Noah but God is able, he won’t fail… He simply cannot.
Mia Fieldes preached a word a few weeks back about protecting your baby ( your dreams) throughout the trimesters. Maybe I’ve been too loose with my tongue telling people my dreams before they are past the first trimester and more likely to miscarry. People have been speaking death over me before I could make it to the second trimester before I could see the details of my dreams ( an ear, an eye socket). She also said that God gives you details and definition in the second trimester so you can name it. I don’t know what season or trimester I’m in but I do know I want nothing more than to carry this dream to full-term.