Dear Reader,
I am sensitive about my body. Any comments at all about weight (whether positive or negative) will lead to obsessing about it. I am not the only one. Social media, the million weight loss programs being advertised, pills, surgery etc— all of those things let me know that there is something about this world that makes us believe we’re not adequate.
It’s about the mind before it’s about the body. I can lose weight, and run marathons and still think I am unfit/fat. Pay attention to what you’re telling yourself. What are you saying when you open your fridge? When you plate the food? When you warm it up? What are you telling yourself?
I didn’t realize that I was telling myself a lot of things about food or my body or other people’s bodies until I lost weight. After losing 30 pounds and seeing all the positive attention I was getting, I started to realize that something was wrong. I was obsessing about keeping this particular number on the scale, in a way that became alarming.
And then when I gained any weight back, I started to spiral –especially when people’s comments shifted accordingly. “Why are you gaining weight? You looked better before” etc.
I had to stop listening to other people and start listening to the word.
- I am not worthless.————— I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
- I have to level up —————– Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised
- I cannot be healthy and thick———My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit
- I have to eat anything I want/ I can’t eat anything I want ————I am allowed to do anything but I must not become a slave to anything.
I have been mostly plant-based since I was ten years old. There is nothing wrong with me. I have been healthy and thick. I suffer from chronic illnesses and I try to ameliorate my symptoms with nutrition and health BUT THOSE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH OBSESSING WITH A NUMBER ON THE SCALE.
I am not perfect. I struggle with my mind as it analyzes my body. But I move my body and I eat healthily. That is what I am doing to honor the temple God gave me. That is all I can do.