Christian Blog: Irrevocably Beloved

For Jesus And For The Culture. . .Being Black, Christian and a Millennial In America

The view from my mind’s window

I haven’t been outside since March 9, 2020. On The Friday before that Monday My primary care doctor called me and told me with your immune system and your lack of proper lung function, I need you to go inside and not come out indefinitely. On the Tuesday before that Friday, a coworker turned to me and said Sarah maybe you should take PTO and wait for this whole thing to blow over. Two weeks later, someone who graduated in MFA of Covid 19 complications at the age of 33. Her birthday was supposed to be this week. I’m not rapunzel but I’m stuck inside. I thought I’d spiral into despair. I thought I’d die. But I learned that enough is a feast. Having enough strength to get through just this day. Having enough Sarah to get up at 6am and sleep at 10pm. Learning enough about tech to do my job and remote school. Having enough social zoom interaction. Having ugly cries on Sunday mornings and unrestrained worship cuz no one can see me. Yass Enough is a feast. Yes I would rather eat food I like, but I have the food I need. Yes I would rather have two fully functioning lungs and the knowledge that I could survive even a regular flu. I don’t have that. My doctor told me I was going to die if I came into contact with Covid 19. The first week, I dreamed of my death and my funeral. I’ve replaced fear with faith since then. I have so much faith. I’ve got the structure of the bar exam as a post it on my desktop monitor. I will live to sit for February 2021 bar and I will live to see the glory of God.