Christian Blog: Irrevocably Beloved

For Jesus And For The Culture. . .Being Black, Christian and a Millennial In America

My Christian Music Faves

Dear Reader,

I thought I would take a moment to talk about how I use music to encourage myself. I really like to just take a moment during my cleaning/cooking/ weekend-frenzy to really listen to music. 

Sometimes that listening to music sesh ends in a full worship sesh that can be heard reverberating not just through the walls of my apartment but probably down the hall in the entire apartment building. 

The songs that I really enjoy are as follows:

  1. New Wine- Hillsong Worship
  2. King of My Heart- Steffany Gretzinger, Jeremy Riddle & Christine Rhee
  3. Ever Be- Bethel Music
  4. Who You Say I am- Hillsong Worship
  5. No Victim- Kristene DiMarco
  6. Known- Tauren Wells

I have to say of all these my #1 fave is King of My Heart. I cannot explain how much I connect with this song. I need to be reminded that no matter what, God is still good. I especially love the version with spontaneous worship where at some point Ms. Gretzinger just starts singing “ You never fall off of your throne” and I JUST LOVE THAT. God never falls off of His throne. Never. 

As someone who really has been through a disproportionate amount of hardship, it really helps me to believe that all of it can be used. That all things will work together for good and that God is making new wine. 

Ever Be reminds me that I should pray without ceasing and most of what I need to do is Praise. God is who He says he is and there is always a reason to Praise. 

I am Who He Says I am. This is a really hard concept to understand in a world that is always trying to break us down. People who are constantly criticizing our work, our appearance, the sound of our voice, our clothes, etc. I am who He says I am. Periodt. 

I am no victim…  reminds me that I cannot dwell in dark places. I just can’t. I am a victim in a lot of ways. But that’s not the point. I wasn’t born a victim. I was not meant to be a victim. My destiny is not victimhood. I am covered by a force of love. 

Known is one of my favorite songs. As someone who feels like I cannot really relate to others on a deep level, this song reminds me that I am already fully known and loved. As the name of this blog says, I am irrevocably beloved. I cannot do anything to change that. And I didn’t do anything to deserve it. I did nothing to endear God to me. I am just beloved. 

Body Image & Jesus

Dear Reader, 

I am sensitive about my body. Any comments at all about weight (whether positive or negative) will lead to obsessing about it. I am not the only one. Social media, the million weight loss programs being advertised, pills, surgery etc— all of those things let me know that there is something about this world that makes us believe we’re not adequate. 

It’s about the mind before it’s about the body. I can lose weight, and run marathons and still think I am unfit/fat. Pay attention to what you’re telling yourself. What are you saying when you open your fridge? When you plate the food? When you warm it up? What are you telling yourself? 

I didn’t realize that I was telling myself a lot of things about food or my body or other people’s bodies until I lost weight. After losing 30 pounds and seeing all the positive attention I was getting, I started to realize that something was wrong. I was obsessing about keeping this particular number on the scale, in a way that became alarming. 

And then when I gained any weight back, I started to spiral –especially when people’s comments shifted accordingly. “Why are you gaining weight? You looked better before” etc.

I had to stop listening to other people and start listening to the word. 

  1. I am not worthless.————— I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 
  2. I have to level up —————– Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised
  3. I cannot be healthy and thick———My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit
  4. I have to eat anything I want/ I can’t eat anything I want  ————I am allowed to do anything but I must not become a slave to anything. 

I have been mostly plant-based since I was ten years old. There is nothing wrong with me. I have been healthy and thick. I suffer from chronic illnesses and I try to ameliorate my symptoms with nutrition and health BUT THOSE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH OBSESSING WITH A NUMBER ON THE SCALE.

I am not perfect. I struggle with my mind as it analyzes my body. But I move my body and I eat healthily. That is what I am doing to honor the temple God gave me. That is all I can do.