I have been listening to this Kristen Dimarco song for more than a week, every single day. The first time I heard it, I sobbed. I was hysterical because I wanted to believe the words but I just couldn’t. Now, it seems like the more I listen to it, the more I seem to accept the words as facts.
The first verse is as follows:”I am no victim, I live with a vision. I’m covered by the force of love, covered in my Savior’s blood. I am no orphan, I’m. not a poor man. The Kingdom’s now become my own and with the King I’ve found a home”
How does someone with PTSD or any other mental illness, get behind these words? How does a suicidal person? Someone who feels alone and like everything they touch dies? Someone who has no evidence for believing in anything other than their present situation?
So as I pondered these thoughts I decided to look for the parts of the song I unequivocally believed.
- Covered in the Savior’s blood ( CHECK)
- Not an orphan (CHECK)
- He is my Father ( CHECK)
- He is who He says He is ( CHECK)
Ok, so I buy four lines in the entire song. The problem that really struck me was my strong unfavorable reaction to the title ” I am no victim”. I mean, Wasn’t I? I kept looking at the hot mess that was my life and alternating between one of two thoughts. 1.It’s none of my fault. 2.Its all of my fault. Over the course of this week I’ve actually discovered that none of that actually matters. The most important part is ” I’m covered by the force of love… I am who He says I am. I’m defined by all his promises, shaped by every word He says”