If you’ve been around social media, you have seen this hashtag. It is to spread awareness of the prevalence of sexual assault and sexual harassment. As a woman of color, living in America, I always wondered if my experiences of sexual violence were unique to me. Yes, in some ways my experiences are unique and singular. However, bacteria thrives in darkness. So while keeping my secrets close to my heart, I was creating an environment for sickness to thrive. I ascribed so many things to myself as a result of these experiences and was living carrying the bags of my shame. But in Christ, there is freedom and light. I am what he says I am not what the museum of my past says I am.
First and Foremost I thought I was broken, just shattered and couldn’t be whole.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. Psalm 51:17
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.Psalm 34:18
I thought that I was a bad person. That everything I touched turned to ash.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
I was convinced I had no future.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29: 11.
For people like me, who have had traumatic experiences change their identity. It is important to speak and declare God’s words over your life. For one, it makes me feel less depressed and like every day is a trial. For two, it really enhances my relationship with Jesus if I know who I am in Him. I cannot say that its been easy. I’ve had nightmares and flashbacks and have spent a significant amount of time ruminating on my failures. I am also convinced that my experiences have put me in a unique position to reach people who otherwise couldn’t be reached.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18.