This advent season, my church is focusing their time on Genesis. We began with Genesis 1 and the beginning. There were a ton of good points made. I especially liked the notable quotes from Robert Madu: “Willpower is not real power”, “God can create something out of nothing” and“When God speaks, it has to come to pass.”

I’ve been really struggling with my dreams because of physical and mental illness.  Let me rephrase that. I have been struggling with my thoughts and feelings about dreams. I feel like I have lost the will to actually have desires because I felt incapable of accomplishing goals. So a month ago, I had my first seizure. I quit my second job the next day. I spiraled into a deep depression. I have had several dreams. I want to be a bestselling author. I want to be a lawyer. People have gone out of their way to let me know how impossible that is. When I had the seizure, it felt like a confirmation of my doubts.

However, listening to the story of the beginning of the world. The origin story. How we came to be. I realized that where there is light, darkness cannot live. One point I had never realized was that God didn’t actually create the sun until like day 4. The light that shone for three days was in existence only because of his word. I’ve never ever thought about the word of God being inalterable and that powerful.

When God speaks to my heart, it has to come to pass. Physical and Psychological sickness aside, I didn’t come to the idea of being a lawyer all willy-nilly. I didn’t even consider it until someone in juvie who had been trafficked suggested it to me. And I was absolutely against the idea. It sounded like too much work. But “God can create something out of nothing”. Right now, I have a part time job and a volunteer job. I am financially supported by my parents. I am not where I want to be, but far from where I was. Maybe its emotionalism that has led me to believe that my dreams matter and that God called me. Perhaps its faith. But I’m not going to sit around waiting for something to happen. I’m not going to let illness make me take a step back. Apparently, if God spoke it, IT HAS TO COME TO PASS.