As you know, this month we’re talking about family and so we have to get into how to practically resolve/ diffuse family conflicts.
- Be Honest:
God does not say that you have to lie to reconcile with people. That ain’t biblical. You can still be true to yourself, have a different opinion and be respectful. How the other person reacts…. Is not my concern. I’m only in charge of me.
- Be Open
No one is going to be of one mind with me. If I like oxford commas; they write runon sentences. It’s not about agreeing. You can disagree and still reconcile. This is especially important these days as most topics light a fire to the family dinner table.
- Be Safe
You can’t reconcile with everyone. If your family makes you physically and/or emotionally unsafe, walk away. For years, the church used to encourage women to go back to their abusive husbands and say that is just the way of the Lord. IT IS NOT. God does not want you to be in harm’s way. He came that you may have life and have it more abundantly.
- Use “I” Statements
This phrase comes from therapy community but it communicates an important conflict resolution principle which is, keep it on yourself. For example “I don’t like when you mention my weight at dinner. It makes me feel like you don’t value me or I’m not pretty. It does not communicate any concern for my health. It does the opposite.” You see how that is much different from “ you’re always so mean to me, telling me I can’t afford soda because I need to lose weight, you’re just the worst !”
The spirit of discernment is essential to resolving conflicts. You may not know just when the right time to approach an issue is. Sometimes the when is just as important as the how and why, when its about reconciliation or resolving conflict.
I hope you can take things tips to heart and practice them. Have a great day.