How to Build your Family of Choice

For Jesus and the culture

Dear Reader, 

For some, relationships with family are simply irreparable. Last week we learned that God wants us to have a full life and not continue to retraumatize ourselves just because they’re family and we feel like they have to be in our lives. 

For people who simply cannot reconcile, there is always a family of choice. Don’t feel sad or ashamed about having one. The bonds of family of choice and the bonds of friendship can be strong, healthy  and help you to thrive. 

But honestly, where are you supposed to find these people? The answer: everywhere. Making friends as an adult always seems like an arduous task. However, you have things you like and don’t like, you have interests, hobbies and life activities. There lies a place to find a new brother or sister. You can find yourself a walking buddy, a sewing circle, an Anime Con friend, etc. We were not meant to walk this world alone.  You might find a family even in church, if you’re so inclined. Church is place that may be traumatic for some.. So perhaps you might want to find your family of choice somewhere else…at the Pilates studio, at the YMCA, or at the meditation studio.

Take your time. After your trust has been broken, don’t fall head first into friendships. While there are people out there who can support and hurt you, there are also people who live to hurt others. Find your tribe and avoid the others. Pray. Ask God to help you find some people to walk alongside you.