Domestic Violence and the Holidays

For Jesus and the culture

Dear Reader:

The holidays are often a time of joy and community, but for people in abusive relationships, they can be stressful and dangerous. Abusive partners may use the holidays as an opportunity to control and isolate their victims. They may also become more violent during this time of year, due to increased stress and alcohol consumption. If you have a family member in an abusive relationship, how you react is important. 

Please note that none of the information contained in this discussion is legal advice. 

Here are some tips to help you stay safe during the holiday season.


One of the most important things you can do to support a survivor of domestic violence is to stay in communication with them. This can be difficult, as their abuser may try to isolate them from friends and family. However, maintaining regular contact can let the survivor know they are not alone and help them to stay connected to the outside world. You can discuss safe times and ways to communicate and consider setting up a code word or phrase that will let the survivor know they can reach out for help if they need it. By staying in communication, you can provide essential support for the survivor during a difficult time.

Planning for visits

When survivors of domestic abuse are planning visits with family or friends, they often have to take extra precautions to ensure their safety. They may carpool with someone else to make sure they have a way to leave if necessary, or they may plan an escape route in case of an emergency. It’s also important for them to have a support system in place that they can rely on if needed. By taking these precautions, survivors can help make sure that they are safe and protected in case of an emergency. 

If your family is the problem, then may I make a radical suggestion : DON’T GO.  is customary to spend holidays with family but not at the price of your health and safety. Maybe this is the year you decline that toxic invitation. 

Plan for Alone time

The holiday season is a wonderful time of year, but it can also be overwhelming. There are parties to attend, gifts to buy, and family members to please. Amid all the chaos, it’s important to schedule some time for yourself. This may mean taking a break from social media, saying no to parties or commitments you don’t want to attend, or taking some time each day to do something you enjoy. It’s also important to practice self-care during this time and make sure you’re staying healthy and rested. Remember that you deserve to enjoy the holidays too! By taking some time for yourself, you can avoid holiday burnout and make the most of this special time of year.


The holidays can be a stressful and dangerous time for people in abusive relationships, but by staying in communication with survivors, planning for visits and alone time, and practicing self-care, you can support the survivor in your life and help them stay safe during this difficult time. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please seek help from a qualified professional. With support and resources, it is possible to overcome abuse and find healing and happiness.

If you need a permission slip to not go to a holiday gathering that will break your spirit, you have mine. Stay Safe.